Song of the Day

Waiting for a Girl Like You (Foreigner)

Ah yes, we come to one of my favorite ideas for this blog, and that is the song of the day. I cannot promise that there will be song added every day, but I can tell you when they are added the will contain plenty of meaning and commentary. This song has quite a few meanings in my life alone, but today for some reason I am feeling very sensual. For those that have had the pleasure of seeing my rendition of the beautiful ballad, know that the song has the mystical power of attracting the female gender with my soft words.

I'm not sure what it is about the great 80s rock band Foreigner, but its as if the words of this song paint a picture of what it means to express one's undying love for a woman. The sweet poetry of dedication is personified with words of when a lonely man finds a woman that he feels "make me feel alive." I feel that there can truly be no woman alive that would listen to this song and not feel love for this man. The agony of waiting so long for a woman so long that this man must burst out with "I've been waiting for a girl like you, to come into my life!" He believes it to more than a touch or a word he says when you love someone, but he knows it right from the moment he wakes up, that there is nowhere on earth he would rather be than holding her tenderly! Yes ladies and gentleman this is definitely a sweet ballad known rarely but for a few aching hearts, and holds the utmost power of emotion over all. I give you below the chance to view this masterpiece of art, that which it truly is:

The Hiring of Major Applewhite

I feel like this is a very important thing that requires my comments, so with out further adieu. I am extremely happen to be one of the many horns welcoming back the MAJOR. There are not that many people on this earth who hold the elite qualities of this offensive minded ginger. Although he will not have the play calling responsibilities that he did at Alabama, his hiring in my opinion is a sign of things to come.
I would like to take this time to reflect on my thoughts about Major and his contribution to the University. He was one of my favorite players of all time, and I feel those that do not know him should take a look below:


Not very elaborate, but this is all I could find on the Major. Expect good things Longhorn fans, the Major commands respect!

This Week's Edition of DeVinny's Guarantees

This is going to be a common post every week, and usually will be posted on Sundays. I was way too pissed off last night from the Cowboys game to write anything, so forgive my procrastination. Anyway off to this weeks guarantees:

1. I guarantee that Terrell Owens bitch ass fake crying act after the game last night will be ridiculed for many months to come, and that Tony Romo will probably be on a flight tomorrow back to Cancun to get some more of that sweet Jessica Simpson ass. (Part of me doesn't blaim him...)

2. I guarantee that Wade Phillips will retain his job as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, and he will continue onto next year looking like the biggest bozo every time the camera pans in his direction. I mean I hate to be condescending here, but the guys looks like a drugged up teddy bear every time I see him.

3. I guarantee that the Superbowl match-up will be between the Packers and the Patriots. The final score of the superbowl will be 38 - 17 New England, thats right count it. I also guarantee that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will be the best halftime in the history of mankind.

4. I guarantee that I am going to end up watching yet another episode of American Gladiators in an attempt to convince myself that it is as elite as the original, but will end up being disappointed because NBC has turned it into a reality show of sorts. And on a side note, as much as I love Hulk Hogan (He is a real American), I think this show would be leaps and bounds better with Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair as the host of the show. Who in their right minds wouldn't like to be watching and hear, "WHOOOOOOOOOOO, the wolf man demolishes his prey!!!" I know that I would.

5. I guarantee that I will hear another lost 80s rock song on the radio at work and come home and download it immediately off of itunes. Is it sad that I downloaded the song "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles the other day...?

6. I guarantee that for the next 3 to 4 weeks that 50 percent of every Sportscenter will be dedicated to how the Patriots are the greatest team of all time, and how they could probably beat of team of God at QB handing the ball off to Hurricane Katrina. The remaining percent will fall in this order: 25 % to the Celtics, 20 % to USC, and then the remaining 5 % will be dedicated to those who don't live in Boston or Southern California. Give me an F-ing brake.

7. I guarantee that I will watch at least 10 to 15 Seinfeld's this week because it has slowly become one of my favorite shows ever. I also guarantee that I will soon be posting a Seinfeld episode of the week, and giving my thoughts on why I chose it. "You're killing independent George"

8. I guarantee that I will continue to pop vicoden each day at work until I run out. The reasoning behind this is because it basically sends me into a diluted state of being and makes me think that I am sitting on one of those circular chairs at roadside diners that spin around and around. Oh, and it also makes me not realize that I'm actually at work, but rather the diner I speak of.

That's really all I've got for this week's edition of DeVinny's guarantees. Stay tuned for next weeks edition that will probably guarantee more stuff about how much I hate ESPN.

Man Movie Review of the Week

The Karate Kid

For the inagural Man Movie review of the week I will start with one of my all time favorite movies, and that is The Karate Kid. Now some might question whether or not this movie constitutes a "Man Movie," although there are plenty of elements throughout this classic film that scream manliness. In one of Ralph Macchios one, and I hate to say only films of significance, he preforms brilliantly for a boy troubled with the issues of high school and what seems to be puberty.
Now from the beginning act of this movie, many would stand and wonder what about this movie truely makes you feel like a man while watching. Well I state this fact, it's the smooth moves of Macchio's character Daniel on the beach doing his best to hit on the young female character Ali Mills played by the beautiful Elisabeth Shue, and his fateful introduction to Johnny Lawrence and his gang of Cobra Ki warriors that start out one of the great protagonist vs antagonist stories of our time.
I will start out with what works in this movie to begin. First off there might not be any group of young men more manly that that of the Cobra Ki dojo warriors led by their young leader Johnny Lawrence. As Johnny and his gang of hoodlums harrass poor Daniel Larusso, a young misled boy from Jersey, one gets the manly sense of rooting for the members of Cobra Ki because they are true men. Although as the movie progresses, the pussy that is Daniel Larusso meets a mysterious Asian man known only as Mr. Miyagi, and his life is forever changed. The audience is left to be intrigued as Macchio's character is tested through grueling chores that his mysterious Manly Master Miyagi puts him through in order to secretly train him in the historic arts of karate. The bewildered Daniel begins to wonder why he has basically become this old Asian's bitch all of a sudden when the bullies that plague him continue to man up in the Kobra Ki Dojo...? But here in lies the true manliness of the movie, two lonely and troubled human beings who both happen to be males, find each other and give each other a special gift that each was lacking before. For Daniel its a path to beat pussyness, and for Miyagi it is a young boy he can teach karate, and probably later molest. I will progress past most of the movie because the major reason that I love this movie is because of the final karate championship scene that occurs in the All Valley Karate Championship. I invite you to go to the link below and see for yourself what truely defines being a man, and that is being "The Best Around"



This mighty musical montage by Joe Esposito is the perfect portrait of the males journey from a pussy to a real MAN, thats right Daniel Larusso, flamingo kick and all you are a MAN. While it might be true that this scene is the only true reason why I watch this movie, I cannot help but feel like more of a man after seeing the entire movie.

Well on to what I did not like about the movie. Well as I just mentioned above, pretty much the entire movie is slow and uninspiring until the final bell tolls in the last scence. I cannot help looking at Macchios character Daniel and thinking he is at least 10 years younger than Johnny Lawrence and his band of bullies. This unrealistic comparison between the protagonist and antagonist really chaps my butt. In any real life situation between the two men, Johnny would wipe the floor with Macchio's bitch ass. I also really hate the character of Daniel's mother. This South Jersey guido really got on my nerves the entire movie and would really take away any true maniless from any male child she mothered. Although she was in very few scenes in the movie, I would have taken her out of the movie completely.

Final thoughts:

Well on a scale from 1 to 10 I give The Karate Kid a stagering 7 in the score of manliness. The reason for such an average score is the lack of real grunting, beer drinking, blood spilling maniless that all we men truely strive for in a movie. Although it still scores highly mainly for the final scene alone, and the song that accompanies it.

I give Ralph Macchios character a 3 out of 10 on the manliness scale because even though he wins in the end, I know I could kick his ass easily.

My favorite character in the movie Johnny Lawrence scores a high 9 out of 10 on this manliness scale for his amazing acting job as a high school bully, his exquisite Halloween costume, and his aura of Ass kickingness throughout the movie. He also scores highly for the good sportsmanship he shows in the end by befriending young Larusso.

Quote of the Movie : "Put him in a body bag Johnny!!!" This is a quote that you have to listen closely to hear, but it occurs during the final fight scene between Johnny Lawrence and Daniel Larusso. This is one of the more witty quotes to come out of a young man's mouth, and because of it I have felt more like a man when I repeat it.

Overall this is not as manly as other movies out there, but its more of a heartfelt manliness that is felt after the movie that makes me enjoy it so much.

Stay tuned for more of the King's wisdom as I review my next Man Movie after thoroughly watching next Friday.

Welcome All

I would like to welcome everyone to the new site that is going to revolutionize the world of blogging! Thats right, the royal, rambunctious, renegade that I claim to be will now be dedicating my days to compiling lists, reviews, and the occasional narrative in order to brighten the lives of everyone that reads them.
I have many ideas and aspirations for this blog. There will be a section every week dedicated to DeVinny's guarantees, there will be a weekly review of a movie in honor of Man Movie Friday, hell I even plan on throwing in a song of the day. The ideas have become limitless and the will not stop coming. This will be no ordinary blog site dedicated to one central idea, but rather a compilation of many ideas, all of course with wisdom from the King himself.
As this is only the beginning of what is to become a site visited by many daily, I do not have much to say at this point, but I promise this blog will not fail to entertain...

Stay Tuned