Tombstone
I will begin by saying this is probably one of my top 5 favorite movies ever made, bar none. The entire movie screams manliness so much that a true man would even lose his voice screaming. Tombstone contains just about every element that a man would consider to be manly. That being booze, babes, guns, gambling, and an elite character with a Southern draw. Without further adue, I give you the review:
Tombstone is a movie based on the life of the Western lawman Wyatt Earp and his brothers, oh and of course the best person in the movie Doc Holliday. I will go off on a full paragraph on how Doc is the definition of what it is to be manly later. Anyway the movie begins with disgruntled peacemaker Wyatt Earp meeting up with his brothers and deciding to move to Tombstone, Arizona. Tombstone is a small mining town that is overrun with debauchery, my kind of place. Wyatt goes in search of a new life but in stead gets caught up in a struggle with a band of outlaws known as the Cowboys (elite name by the way). The names of some of these outlaws are extremely manly, I mean Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo, these names alone elaborate on what it is like to be a bad ass. There are plenty of scenes throughout the movie that involve gambling and extreme boozing, both very masculine activities indeed. Every gambling scene in the movie contains Doc Holliday at his best, and that is piss drunk and winning. For those out there who are questioning their manhood, watch and analyze this character, and you will gain a multitude of man points. The movie goes on to follow the story of how Wyatt and his brothers fight a group of Cowboys at the famous OK Corral, and the later response by the Cowboys of killing Wyatt's brother Morgan and wounding his other brother Virgil. Watch closely after this occurs wannabe men, because what occurs after the climax of this movie is pure genius. Wyatt, in what can only be described as a trance of rage, exercises his vengeance on those that have attacked his family. After killing many of these Cowboys (including one Cowboy who takes a gun shot through the mouth thinking it's an opium pipe!!!) the final showdown scene occurs. I do not want to ruin this ending for those that have yet to spend a lonely Friday afternoon searching for manhood, but lets just say I know every word to the final showdown scene. Yes my friends, it is that manly.
I feel like I must spend an entire paragraph on a man who deserves to be in the Man hall of fame, if such a thing were to exist in life. The character of Doc Holliday is played by Val Kilmer, and let me say he is absolutely perfect for the part. This arrogant Southern gentleman is never afraid to throw around his twang in a poker game or a gunfight, and it leads to movie magic. He travels around the West playing poker and drinking himself to death, literally, and at all times is accompanied by a European hooker....umm nice. Not only can this man play poker, but he is one hell of a quick draw with a pistol. The scene where Johnny Ringo drunkenly stumbles around the streets of Tombstone challenging Wyatt Earp to a game that "plays for blood," shows the pure confidence of this haughty gentleman. The only quote that needs to be thrown out here is, "I'm your Huckleberry." So incredible, so freaking incredible ladies and gentleman. The final scene of the movie contains Doc and this is where he climaxes with an aura of true alpha male, yes once again "I'm your Huckleberry." Forgive me for starting to ramble on about this MAN, but I envy him in every way and form. I mean come on, the guy wakes up every day of his life and plays poker for 36 hours straight, polishes off entire bottles of whiskey by himself, sleeps with a Euro whore, and occasionally blows people away with a shotgun (or scatter gun in their time).
I will give my final thoughts about the movie below:
Tombstone receives a score of 10 out of 10 for manliness, I mean seriously if I could score over 10 I would award it to this movie easily.
My favorite character in the movie, Doc Holliday, scores a 10 out 10 as well in the manly factor. Read the paragraph above if you do not believe my words of wisdom.
Although I did in fact write very little about the movies protagonist, Wyatt Earp, he gets a 9 out of 10 on the manly scale for his heroic efforts in the latter stages of the movie.
My favorite quote of the movie, well its more of a dialogue, "Drunk piano player, you're so drunk, you're probably seeing double." "I have 2 guns, one for the each of you." -Doc Holliday in a fight scene with one of the Cowboys.
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